Oh, come on! I take one day off to bid a fond farewell to my beloved Ford Ranger and register my new vehicle and all the stupid on Planet Earth erupts at once.
And who is the Ground Zero for this nuclear-sized detonation of stupid?
Why, who else?
The woman who clearly stripped Joe Biden of his title as the Stupidest Idiot on the Planet — none other than Marie Harf.
So, let’s see if I follow the logic (hahahahaha! Okay choose a new word)…
Let’s see if I can follow her argument.
1. We cannot win this war by killing ISIS.
2. We have to win this war by offering them jobs.
Apparently, Marie’s Victory Strategy is “Obamanomics for the World!!!”
Jobs, jobs created or saved. That three-letter word J O B S.
Will we offer them free cell phones and Medicaid too?
Or, maybe Food Stamps?
Hey! I know!
Let’s also let them apply for the Earned Income Tax Credit. What the hell, let’s let them go back three years and apply for it retroactively! Sure, they’re not citizens of the US, but since when does that matter?
Given the fact that we left embassy vehicles lying around in Yemen, it’s fair to say they’re already benefiting from Obama’s “Cash for Clunkers.”
And hey, if those jobs are in Green Energy, we can give them hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars to fritter away before they up and go bankrupt.
She’s a certified genius, isn’t she?
We don’t need to kill them! We just need to get them jobs!
Doing what, exactly?!
The way they love gasoline fires, the EPA would be all up in their grills making it impossible for them to earn a living.
And OSHA?! For heaven’s sake. If not having an ergonomically-correct work station results in fines, what sort of OSHA penalties would they face with all that wielding of knives and beheading people?
Honestly Marie. How on earth am I supposed to do my job and parody and mock you people, when you keep doing the work for me?!
I have to earn a living here, Marie!
I mean, if I can’t earn a living, well, by your logic, I would probably end up kidnapping people, beheading them or setting them on fire in cages.
So, for the sake of humanity, stop doing my job for me!!
We have to get them jobs.
Dear sweet fancy Moses.
This is beyond stupid.
This is beyond illogical.
This rises to a level of absurdity I never thought possible even for this Administration.
You know how we got the Japanese to become productive members of society, Marie?
We bombed the living snot out of them. We bombed them to their knees until they surrendered. We killed as many of those bastards as we could until they finally gave up. And then, decent human beings that we Americans are, we helped them rebuild.
We didn’t do pin-prick bombings and then say, “Come on you guys! Behave and we’ll help you gain ‘good governance’ and jobs!”
Do you see the problem here?
Marie Harf wants to look at the “long term,” without dealing with the short term. You cannot help rebuild a region in turmoil until you rid the region of the animals who are causing the turmoil.
In other words, Marie, honey. You have to freaking kill them. You have to destroy them. You have to excise them like a cancer. Because you will never have a civil society in a place that is being eaten alive by this cancer. And without a civil society, you cannot have “good governance.” Without a civil society, you cannot have a booming economy and jobs. You cannot have a free people.
This is so easy, a caveman could understand it.
But Marie Harf is like everyone else in the Obama Administration. She, like all of them, wants all the wonderful goodies in life without putting in any of the hard work to earn the wonderful goodies.
And a peaceful Middle East would be a wonderful thing.
But we cannot get there, Marie, dear, without first wiping this cancer out. We have to kill them. We have to completely eradicate the earth of this cancer.
You cannot change barbarians into productive members of society just by wishing it were so, you brain dead bint.
Do you really believe you have some super powers that could bypass the immediate need to destroy this cancer?
I don’t even think there’s a Marvel Comics Super Hero who could do that.
Or, maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe mild-mannered Marie Harf isn’t the pencil-neck academic she appears to be. I mean, she’s even got those Clark Kent black-framed glasses, doesn’t she? Maybe, she just plays quiet, nerdy Marie Harf by day, when in fact, she is Employment Woman!!
She’s got superpowers. Powers we mere mortals are too stupid to comprehend.
She can bring peace to the Middle East simply by offering the bloodthirsty barbarians jobs at Big Jimmy’s Fondu Hut.
Yes, my friends. The Earth is on the verge of World War Three and mild-mannered Marie Harf has charged into a phone booth and transformed into Employment Woman!!
And while we stupid mortals have no comprehension of her brilliance, she will eradicate the threat of ISIS by making them all greeters at Walmart and sign holders along highway construction sites!
She’s a one-woman League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!
For the love of Pete.
Diann Russell is the author of
RANT 2.0: Even More Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
Liberals Gone WILD!!! The Not-So-Silent Conquering of America,
RANT: Politics & Snark in the Age of Obama,
and two novels: Sliding Home Feet First and Under the Cloud
Diann is the owner of DiannyTees.com — a Conservative & Christian T-shirt Store, and is a social media content contributor for #RedNationRising.
She is a political dissident residing in The People’s Republic of New York.
Follow Diann on Facebook
Follow Diann on Twitter: @DiannyRants
Shop for great Conservative & Christian T-shirts at DiannyTees.com